Women - A Chemical Analysis
Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
- ELEMENT: Woman
- SYMBOL: ♀
- DISCOVERER: Adam
- ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg-225kg
- OCCURRENCES:Copious quantities in all urban areas
- Surface usually covered in painted film.
- Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason.
- Melts if given special treatment.
- Bitter if incorrectly used.
- Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
- Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
- Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones.
- Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
- May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
- Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
- Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
- Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
- Can be a great aid to relaxation.
- Can be an effective cleaning agent.
- Pure specimen turns rosy when discovered in the natural state.
- Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
- Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
- Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimen don't come into direct contact
with each other.
The image is a newer version of this joke. It's interesting to see how internet jokes morph over time! -h
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