note from heretic: you can substitute any name. I used kevin after my friend Kev told me about the Train To Rome Incident. Two people on a train to Rome discover they're both Aussies... both mention their friend Kev...
Kevin was always bragging about how unreal and popular he was and one day he said to his boss, "You know, I reckon I know just about everyone there is to know. Just name someone and I probably know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff,and said, "OK, Kevin, how about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So Kevin and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Hey! Kevin! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Kevin's boss is still sceptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Kevin that he thinks Kevin's knowing Cruise was just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Kevin says.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorts.
"Yes," Kevin says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington." And off they go.
At the White House, Clinton spots Kevin on the tour and motions him over, saying, "Kevin, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and lets have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Kevin, who again implores him to name one more, anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Kevin. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."
So off they fly to Rome. Kevin and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Kevin says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go up, and he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Kevin emerges with the Pope on the balcony but by the time Kevin returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Kevin asks him, "What happened?"
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who the f@#k's that on the balcony with Kevin?"