Christmas Cake Recipe
- 1 cup of water
- 1 tsp. baking soda
- 1 cup of sugar
- 1 tsp. salt
- 1 cup of brown sugar
- lemon juice
- 4 large eggs
- 2 cups of dried fruit
- 1 bottle Johnnie Walker
- Sample the Johnnie Walker to check quality.
- Take a large bowl, check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink.
- Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
- Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
- Make sure the whisky is still OK. Try another cup.
- Turn off the mixerer.
- Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
- Mix on the turner.
- If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
- Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity.
- Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a shit.
- Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
- Add one table.
- Add a spoon of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find.
- Greash the oven and piss in the fridge.
- Turn the cake tin 350 defrees.
- Don't forget to beat off the turner.
- Throw the bowl through the f**king window.
- Check the whisky again and go to bed.
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