Bored Husband: why Mr Murray can no longer go shopping
Proof of what can happen if a wife drags her husband along to go shopping.
Dear Mrs. Murry,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras.
MEMO Re: Complaints
15 Things Mr. Wayne Murry has done while his spouse is shopping:
- June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
- July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
- July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tampons section.
- July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened.
- August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-by.
- September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
- September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
- September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
- October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
- November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
- December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
- December 6: In the auto department, practised his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
- December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
- December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker he assumes the foetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!
And; last, but not least!
- December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
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